4 things you can ACTUALLY DO to love yourself, a little bit...and one that takes more commitment, but is totally worth it.

Self care...haha - what's that

So, there are about a million articles on self-care - maybe you even googled it and found this one! But who has the time to set aside that hour for a luxurious bath with candles (that set off the smoke alarm), or do yoga in that beautiful studio with those perfectly potted plants, which no cat, or toddler or fighting children have knocked over? Not to mention what everyone has to say about sleep, how much, and whatever I'm getting, it's probably not enough... Here are five ideas to find your moment, in the midst of the chaos.

1. Put a chair in the middle of the mess, sit down, both feet on the floor, and breathe. Feel your belly, relax your shoulders, sigh on the out breath if it feels good. If you can get 3 to 5 minutes wow - if you can only get 1, that's a start.

   
   

2. Take the screaming, or screen-attached kids gently by the hand, and walk out the door (I know this might involve some kicking and screaming, maybe even from you, but its worth persisting). Go for a walk around your yard, around your block. For something different, go for a backwards walk (start slow if you've never done it before). Hold your kids hands if they let you, and feel the difference in everyone's energy getting out the house. And if you're holding your kids hands, you are not holding the phone. Leave it in the house.

   
   

3. Ask your child for a hug, and see if it can be a therapeutic one (15 - 30 seconds long).

   
   

4. Smile - at the wall, at the mirror, at the laundry - this totally free, totally accessible benefit can be so forgotten in the serious, exhausting, unrelenting task of parenting and dealing with dinners, laundry, cleaning up, getting out the door to work, school, garden, animals....I started to realize that I felt great at work, then I'd feel horrible at home, and I read this article, and it dawned on me that I smile a lot at work, and that I might go a whole day at home, and only smile once. So, try it - see how it feels.

   
   

5. Sign up for a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course, and do whatever it takes to carve out the space for you to participate in it - it will serve your family for years, as it will transform your relationship to your stress, and initiate a healing journey that starts working right away, and never stops.